You Might Be a New Englander if...

Forget Rednecks ... here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New
Englanders...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in
New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you live in New England.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend,
you live in New England.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in
New England.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you live in New England.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you live in New England.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
you live in New England.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live
in New England.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going 80, and everybody
is passing you, you live in New England.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you live in New England.

If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road
construction, you live in New England.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly," you live in New England.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New
England friends, you live in New England.